BDSM & fetish community
for kinksters by kinksters.



How do I change my group's name? (direct link)

Simple, if you are the group's owner, just email the caretakers at support@fetlife.com from the email address you use for FetLife and include the following in your email:

  • Link to the group:
  • Current name of group:
  • New Name:
How do I join/leave a group? (direct link)

To join a group, you first have to find a group you are interested in joining. There are three ways to find groups that catch your attention:

Once you find a group you are interested in joining click the "Join Group" link just below the group's name. Then read over the group's description, rules and restrictions and if you still feel the group is for you then click the "Join this Group" button.

What if the group is not for you anymore? No problem, within the group itself and just under the group name, you’ll see a link to "leave group". Click on the link, confirm you want to leave the group and presto, you are no longer a member of the group.

How do I delete a new discussion I started in a group? (direct link)

To have a post or comment in a group deleted you will have to contact one of the group leaders to remove it for you. The removal of a post or comment will be up to the discretion of the group leaders, so before posting make sure you do what my mother still tells me to this day - "Think twice before you open your mouth" (or type on the keyboard, in this case)!

How do I follow a thread? (direct link)

When you start a new or comment on a discussion you are automatically set to start following the thread. The threads you are already following are listed on your groups page and are updated when new comments are made to the discussion.

To stop or start following a thread, look just under the original post in the thread and click "start following" or "stop following".

How do I start my own group? (direct link)

You can just create a new group here. But for future reference, you can always find a "create new group" link on the Groups home page right below the list of your groups.

How can I add or remove group leaders? (direct link)

If you are a group owner, click on the "Members" tab in the group and search for the user you want to add or remove as a group leader from the group.

Once you find them click on the "moderate ∨" button next to them. From that drop down menu you will be able to add or remove the user as a group leader.

Note: only one user can be a group owner, but you can have many group leaders.

How do I ban someone from my group if they've already left? (direct link)

If someone has a comment in your group and then left, you can still ban them from your group.   From their post in the group, you'll see a link called "options". Click on that, and you'll see that you can ban the person right at the comment itself - even if they are no longer with your group.

If there are no comments left in your group, you can contact support@fetlife.com and ask one of the caretakers to do this for you.

When you email the caretakers you should take advantage of the opportunity and report the user you want to ban from your group.

I don't want to be a group leader anymore, what should I do? (direct link)

Hey, it can take a lot of time & energy to be the Big Daddy/Mommy!  If you are a group owner, you should first click on the "Members" tab and give ownership of the group to one of the other group leaders or to someone you think would make a good group owner. 

How do I make a thread sticky? (direct link)

Well, John has his own special way to make sticky threads, but we won't go into that here... For the rest of us, a sticky thread is a thread posted at the top of the "Discussions" tab in each group. It is usually a thread that the group owner feels is important enough to keep at the top for easy reference. For example, it might be a list of FAQs for that group, or it might be the most popular thread that the group owner wants to remain visible no matter how many new discussions are started.

If you are a group owner or leader just click on the discussion you want to make sticky and just below the original post it you will see several options. Click on the "make sticky" link and you got yourself a new sticky! Go check for yourself.

To make it "unsticky" just click on the sticky thread and below the original post click on the "make unsticky" link.

How do I unembed a video in my group? (direct link)
Youtube video embedding is fun!  But, with the proliferation of Youtube videos being posted in groups, some group owners have asked us "What do we do if there are minors in the videos?".  The answer is quite simple - all you have to do in unembed the video,  since links to pictures or videos with non-sexualized images of minors is ok.  This leaves the link and the discussion in place, but removes the video from FetLife itself.

All you have to do is add the word "UNEMBED" on the same line before the link.  For example:

http://www.youtube.com/watch........ - puts in an embedded video

UNEMBED http://www.youtube.com/watch.... - takes out the embedding
How do I remove or ban a user from my group? (direct link)

If you are a group leader, there are two ways you can ban a user from your group.

The first option is to click on the "Members" tab in the group and search for the user you want to remove or ban from the group.

Once you find them click on the "moderate ∨" button next to them. From that drop down menu you will be able to remove or ban them from your group.

Alternatively, a group leader can ban a member right from a comment that they made. To the right of each member's name, there is a link that says "options". Click on that, and the options "delete", "ban", and "close" pop up. Click on "ban", and the user is banned from your group.

If you remove a user from the group, all of their posts will remain in the group. If you need to moderate a recently banned member's posts, you will have to do that separately from banning them.

The "mod" banned me from the group - what can I do about it? (direct link)
One of the beauties of FetLife's structure (I know, bad word for pseudo-anarchists like us!) is that there is always an alternative to a group owner or leader banning you from a group.

Create your own group.

While we give group owners and leaders considerable power in deciding group membership, it's countered by the ability to create your own group about the same subject if you wish.  Group owners and leaders who go megalomaniacal (whew - fingers tired after that one!) often find their group members voting with their feet - off to another group.  Democracy in action, baby!
How do I follow a discussion in a group? (direct link)
Look right under the OP (Original Post) in each discussion - there is a link that says "Start following" the discussion.  And you get notified whenever someone else adds their sparkling words of wisdom!
How do I delete my group? (direct link)
First off, we'd suggest not deleting your group, but handing it off to another member of the group.  But if you are absolutely, positively, 100% sure you want to delete a group that you own, there are two ways.  You can either:

A) delete all the members (including any that are banned) and delete yourself last, or

B) ask the caretakers at support@fetlife.com to wave their magic cane and delete it for you.

As long as they use the right "cane", it will be gone!

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